Difficult Conversations

Ideas

Idea #1: Difficult Conversations as a Pedagogy

"NVC [Non-Violent Communication] assumes that we all share the same, basic human needs, and that all actions are a strategy to meet one or more of these needs. People who practice NVC have found greater authenticity in their communication, increased understanding, deepening connection and conflict resolution"1

Learning Intention

Guiding students through difficult conversations gives them the capacity to think critically about tough topics from a variety of perspectives, to practice positive communication strategies, and to navigate challenging discussions with scholarly skills.

Strategies2,4

  • Set ground rules for discussion (see Idea #2).

  • Promote relationships and community among students (see Idea #8)

  • Affirm courageous and honest answers.

  • Respect viewpoints without affirming biases or microaggressions (see Idea #13).
  • Never treat people's views contemptuously.
  • Acknowledge the difficulty of the subject.

Benefits2

  • Practicing maintaining our demeanor in the midst of a heated conversation with others.

  • Learning to explain ourselves to others who do not think as we do.

  • Learning to defend our views in light of others’ critiques.

  • Engaging in serious thinking when we test our own views against others’ challenges.
  • Reflecting and rethinking about our own position from another’s point of view.
  • Practicing civil and respectful disagreement with others.
  • Honing these skills, which are essential to participating in the public life of our communities.

Techniques1

  • Observations without interpretation (when I see/hear … / when you see …)
  • Feelings separated from thoughts (I feel … / are you feeling …)
  • Needs separated from strategies (I need ... / are you needing …)
  • Requests instead of demands (Please, could you …/ Would you like …)

References

  1. Center for Nonviolent Communication (2021). What is NVC?.
  2. Chen, P. (2022). One Person's Controversy is Another Person's Curriculum. Difficult Conversations. Published online by Center for Instructional Innovation and Assessment, Western Washington University.
  3. Koopman & Knight (2019). Navigating Difficult Conversations in the Classroom. Kent State University.
  4. Washington University in St. Louis (n.d.). Facilitating Challenging Conversations in the Classroom.